The Goal Denominations

For each goal scored by a member of Queens' Hockey II XI a rating shall be given. The rating of a goal is by the sole judgement of the captain though he is easily persuaded in post match conversation as he tends to be out of breath and not that willing to argue. A brief descriptions of the ratings follows. In order of greatness :

An Alan Hansen :

a tactical genius of a goal, a wonder to behold and even better to listen to in the post match ramifications

A Gary Lineker :

a goal poachers goal, requires a moderate level of skill but not one that you would want to discuss like a Hansen

A Trevor Brooking :

a flukey goal that no one wants to hear about any more but about which the scorer will go on about for ages (all Martin Rich's lack of goals fall into this category)

A Jimmy Hill :

a miracle that it got where it is now, all ways a good source of humour for complete lack of skill

The Man of the Match Award

For each game the Desmond Lynam Man of the Match shall be awarded for being both smooth and cool under pressure.

Additional categories maybe added if the BBC increase the number of pundits used on Match of the Day

Back to the list of games