[Living in America/James Brown/1985] All I do is grunt and groan Hurts me to walk anywhere Went to see my physician, Dr. Jones He took my trousers off, told me to cough Doctor says there ain't nothin' to discuss He tells me any day I might have to wear a truss Living with a hernia All the time, such aggravation Living with a hernia Gonna be my ruination Living with a hernia Got to have an operation Feel so old Too much bad pain Good gawd, drives me insane Can't run, barely crawl Got a bulge in my intestinal wall Walk real funny, bless my soul Can't play tennis and it's hard to bowl You can't even do the splits now...Better call it quits now I'm sick of all this dancin' anyhow Living with a hernia Hurts me bad in a tender location Living with a hernia Had enough humiliation Living with a hernia Got to have an operation I live with a hernia Can't get up, can't bend over Now I live with a hernia Wait a minute... You may not be familiar with the common types Of hernias that you could get So just settle down, let me clue you in There's incomplete Epigastric Bladder Strangulated Lumbar hernia Richter's hernia Obstructed Inguinal and Direct Living with a hernia...Rupture! I said it's causin' me such irritation Living with a hernia Have to have my medication Living with a hernia I feel bad!
Dog Eat Dog
Found a job in a great big office
And I really love this place
I got my very own Scotch tape dispenser
And I got a private parking space...ha!
And I got a coffe mug with my name right on it
In big bold letters so everyone knows it's mine
Don't even touch it, 'cause it doesn't belong to you
I'm watching you, so don't get funny
I'm climbing up, up the corporate ladder
Watch out...It's dog eat dog
Nose against the grindstone, it feels all right
Watch out...Well, it's dog eat dog
Here we go
I love to watch my boss get angry
So I can count the veins on his neck...ha!
Every day is like a picnic
Every Friday, get a check
Well, do I smell jelly donuts? This is my lucky day!
I'll have some coffee with a carcinogenic sweetener
Hold on a minute, just one more jelly donut
They'll never miss it...No, they'll never miss it!
I'm climbing up, up the corporate ladder
Watch out...Well, it's dog eat dog
Nose against the grindstone, it feels all right
Watch out...Hey! Well, it's dog eat dog
Sometimes I can't believe this is all really happening
Sometimes I can't believe that I'm really sitting here
Sometimes I tell myself, "This is not my beautiful stapler!"
Sometimes I tell myself, "This is not my beautiful chair!"
Nobody's sure what I do here
And that's just fine with me
Five o'clock is here much too soon now
'Cause I just never wanna leave
I can bend paper clips into the shapes of small animals
Maybe I could get on David Letterman
I think I made a big mistake
Where's my liquid paper? Where's my liquid paper?
I'm climbing up, way up the corporate ladder now
Watch out...Well, it's dog eat dog
Nose against the grindstone, it feels all right
Better be careful now, it's dog eat dog
Watch me work...Hey! Hey! Stand back now!
Look out, mama, it's dog eat dog
Nose against the grindstone, it feels real good
Hey! Dog eat dog
Addicted to Spuds
[Addicted to Love/Robert Palmer/1986]
Potato skins, potato cakes
Hash browns and instant flakes
Baked or boiled or french fried
There's no kind you haven't tried
You planned a trip to Idaho
Just to watch potatoes grow
I understand how you must feel
I can't deny they've got a peel
Wo, you like 'em whether they're plain or they're stuffed, oh yeah
Better face the facts, it seems you can't get enough
You know, you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to spuds
Your greasy hands, your salty lips
Looks like you found the chips
Your belly aches, your teeth grind
Some tater tots would blow your mind
And you don't mind if they're not cooked
You need your fix, I guess you're hooked
And late at night you always dream
Of bacon bits and sour cream
Wo, you like 'em even if they're lumpy or tough, oh yeah
It's pretty obvious to me you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds
I'm giving up, it's just no use
Another case of spud abuse
What can I say, what can I do
Potato bug has got me, too
Wo, I used to hate 'em, now they're all that I eat, oh yeah
I've often seen 'em whipped, but they just can't be beat
Now I'm gonna have to face it, I'm addicted to spuds
One of Those Days
Got to work late 'cause my alarm was busted
The boss chewed me out and everybody's disgusted
'Cause it's just one of those days
It's just one of those days
I lost one of my socks in the drier
I can't find my wallet and my hair is on fire
Just one of those days
It's just one of those days
I just wrapped my Cadillac around a tree
A big swarm of locusts is following me
There's not even anything good on TV
It's just one of those days
It's just one of those days
Left all my Beatles records out in the sun
Got a Coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue
It's just one of those days
Gonna be one of those days
The Nazis tied me up and covered me with ants
And I spilled toxic waste on my brand new pants
Just one of those days
Ever have one of those days?
The bank called me up and told me I'm overdrawn
Some freaks are burnin' crosses out on my front lawn
And I can't believe it, all the Cheetos are gone!
It just...just one of those, one of those days
Just one of those, one of those days
The F.B.I. has got a tap on my phone
Those darn Russian spies won't leave me alone
Shouldn't have got up this morning, shoulda known
It's just one of those days
It's just one of those days
A 747 crashed into my den
And there's nothin' but tater tots for dinner again
It's just one of those days
Never mind, it's just one of those days
Big steamroller just ran over my mom
And I cut myself shaving and they're dropping the bomb
It's just one of those days
That's all, it's just one of those days
Then late at night, just before I go to bed
The world blows up and now everybody's dead
You just can't deny it, it's just like I said
Just...just one of those, one of those days
Just one of those days, one of those days
Polka Party!
[Sledgehammer/Peter Gabriel]
You could have a big-dipper,
Going up and down all around the bends,
You can have bumber-cars, bumping.
This amusement never ends.
I want to be: your sledgehammer.
I can be your friend.
I want to be your sledgehammer.
This can be your testimony, yeah.
[Sussudio/Phil Collins]
There's a girl that's been on my mind,
All the time,
Su-su-sussudio.
Oh yeah.
Now she don't even know my name.
But I think she loves me all the same,
Su-sussudio.
[Party All the Time/Eddie Murphy]
And my girl wants to
Party all the time, party all the time, party all the time.
And my girl want to
Party all the time, party all the time.
(She partys all the time.)
[Say You, Say Me/Lionel Richie]
Say you, say me,
Say it for always,
That's the way it should be.
Say you, say me,
Say it together,
Naturally.
[Freeway of Love/Aretha Franklin]]
We're going riding on the freeway of love
(wind's against our back)
We're going riding on the freeway of love
(in a pink Cadillac).
[What You Need/INXS]
That's why,
You need.
That's why...
[Harlem Shuffle/The Rolling Stones]
Ja, ja, ja do the Harlem polka.
(Everybody now)
Ja, ja, ja do the Harlem polka.
[Venus/Shocking Blue]
She's got it. Yeah baby she's got it.
I'm your Venus, I'm you fire,
What's your desire?
[Nasty/Janet Jackson]
Nasty! Nasty boys, don't ever change.
Oh you nasty boys.
Nasty! Nasty boys, don't mean a thing.
Oh you nasty boys.
I like this part.
[Rock Me Amadeus/Falco]
Oooh! Rock me Amadeus.
Oooh! Rock me Amadeus.
[Shout/Tears for Fears]
Shout! Shout! Let it all out.
These are the things I can't do without.
Come on, I'm talking to you.
Come on.
[Papa Don't Preach/Madonna]
Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep.
Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep.
But I've made up my mind,
I'm keeping my baby.
I'm gonna keep my baby.
I'm gonna keep my baby.
Here's Johnny
[Who's Johnny (theme from "Short Circuit")/El DeBarge/1986]
There he goes, he drives me crazy
When he says...(Hee-eere's Johnny!)
That's his job, it's so amazing
All he says is...(Hee-eere's Johnny!)
I never miss a moment when he's on the tube
His being there has made my life worth living
The chills run down my spine
Each time he says that line
"Here's Johnny!" He says, and laughs in his special way
"...Johnny!" he says, you know I love him
"Here's Johnny!" he says, and "second fiddle" is his game
Ed McMahon's his name...all right
Dressed so fine, he's such a cool dude
Hear him say...(Hee-eere's Johnny!)
Watch him selling beer and dog food
Hear him say...(Hee-eere's Johnny!)
I got a letter from him just the other day
He said, "You may already be a winner!"
A trooper to the end
A Clydesdale's best friend
"Here's Johnny!" he says, and laughs in his special way
"...Johnny!" he says, you know I love him
"Here's Johnny!" he says, and that's the way he gets his pay
What a living
Oh...(Here's Johnny! Here's Johnny!) Wo-o-o, no
(Here's Johnny! Here's Johnny!) No no no no no no, I don't believe it
(Here's Johnny!) he says, and everytime it's just the same
Ed McMahon's his name
A very special guy...all right
He's on every night
Can't change the channel
When he's sitting on the panel
(Hee-eere's Johnny!)
There he goes, he gives me goose bumps
When he says...(Hey-O-Hey-Hey-O!)
"Here's Johnny!" he says, and laughs in his special way
"...Johnny!" he says, you know I love him
"Here's Johnny!" he says, that seems to be his claim to fame
Ed McMahon's his name
Don't Wear Those Shoes
I don't care
If you wreck my car or shave off all my hair
You can go
And run your vacuum during my favorite show
And I'll let you call up folks in Europe you don't even know
Anything you want, babe, if it makes you happy
But I'm begging you down on my bended knees
Oh honey, please don't wear those shoes
You can spend my money, you can waste my time
Baby, I don't mind, but please don't wear those shoes
Don't wear those shoes
It's all right
You can play your Twisted Sister every night
I suppose
You can lick the middles out of my Oreos
Or start laughing while you're drinking milk so it comes out your nose
And you know that I'd do anything to please you
But I'm begging you down on my bended knees
Oh honey, please don't wear those shoes
You can spit in my face if you're so inclined
Baby, I don't mind, but please don't wear those shoes
Oh no, don't wear those shoes
I said, oh no, oh no
Oh no, please don't wear those...
Use my razor to shave your legs or eat crackers in bed
Stomp the poodle till it's flat
You could even shove a six-inch railroad spike through my head
I could learn to live with that
But now I'm begging you down on my bended knees
Oh honey, please don't wear those shoes
You can whip me, beat me, rob me blind
Baby I don't mind, but please don't wear those...
I said, oh no, oh no, oh no, don't wear those shoes
I said, oh no, oh no, oh no, don't wear those shoes
You can scratch up my records, you can drink my booze
But baby, please don't wear those shoes
You can make me an offer I can't refuse
But darling, please don't wear those shoes
You can play your bongos while I'm trying to snooze
But honey, please don't wear those shoes
You can expose yourself on the six o'clock news
But please, please don't wear those shoes
Toothless People
[Ruthless People/Mick Jagger/1986]
They only show you their gums when they smile
Ain't got a tooth in their headsnow...how vile
Only can eat things like pudding and applesauce
They never have to buy toothpicks or dental floss
Hey! Stand up!
Toothless people...their breath is lethal, wanna tell you
Hey...come on! Stand up...get on your feet!
Toothless people...old and feeble, what I say
No more of those pearly whites will they possess
Their oral hygiene is frightful...a mess
Lots of 'em suffering from trench mouth and gum disease
At least they don't have to worry 'bout cavities
Hey! Stand up...take out your teeth!
Toothless people...old and feeble, oh yes
You can brush 'em, you can floss 'em
They're something you just can't ignore
If you lose 'em, you're in trouble
'Cause the tooth fairy won't come no more
You need something to show your dentist
The next time he makes you say "ahh..."
You don't wanna have to wind up
Eating all of your food through a straw
Like toothless people
Toothless people...you'd better brush your teeth now
Hey...toothless, toothless, toothless, toothless people