Please note: I haven't heard all of these songs, so I can't vouch for their correctness. They've been picked off from alt.music.weird-al and elsewhere.
[Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm/Crash Test Dummies/1993] Once, there was this kid who Took a trip to Singapore and brought along his spray paint. And when he finally came back, He had cane marks all over his bottom. He said that it was from when The warden whacked it so hard. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Once there was this girl who Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion. And when she finally made it, She saw some other girl who was better. And so she hired some guy to Club her in the kneecap. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. They got paid for their sound bytes, And sold their TV movie rights. And then, there was this guy who Made his wife so mad one night that she cut off his weiner. And when he finally came to, He found little Mr. Happy was missing. He couldn't quite explain it, It'd always just been there. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Ahh ahh ahh ahh. Ahh ahh ahh ahh. Ahh ahh ahh ahh. Ahh ahh ahh ahh.
[Black or White/Michael Jackson]
I'm never satisfied with three meals a day
{Well, well, this evening/While the work is sleeping} I'll be munching away
Gonna sneak into the kitchen
Gonna tiptoe down and turn on the light
(Right, yeah,)
If no one's 'round to see you, it don't matter if you snack all night
A million chicken bones are under my bed
A pile of Twinkie wrappers all 'round my head
Jelly doughnuts to the left of me
Got a bag of chocolate chips on the right
(Right, yeah,)
If you don't mind the cal'ries, it don't matter if you snack all night
[Live and Let Die/Paul McCartney] When we were young, Bernie's deli was down the block. He made a great liver pate. (You know he did. You know he did. You know he did.) But if there's one thing in this world that I like better Than a corned beef on rye, It's chicken pot pie. Chicken pot pie. Chicken pot pie. Chicken pot pie. (clucking chorus)
[It's Still Rock-n-Roll to Me/Billy Joel]
What's the matter with the song he's singing?
Can't you tell that it's pretty lame?
After listening to a couple albums
well it all starts to sound the same.
So we tried to change his musical style.
He tossed all his albums in the circular file.
Famous sound, punk sound, breaking ground, all around,
it's still Billy Joel to me.
What's the matter with the tune he's writing?
Well you know it's gonna be a smash.
It's so nice when you're a big name artist,
'cause no matter if it sounds like trash.
Now everybody thinks the new wave is super.
Just ask Linda Rondstat, or even Alice Cooper.
It's a big hit, isn't it, even if it's a piece of -- JUNK,
it's still Billy Joel to me.
Oh, it doesn't matter what the critics say about him,
'cause he doesn't worry how they feel.
When your records sell a million
{they don't know if you're just whinin'/your last one's goin' plat'num}
You don't worry 'bout your next meal,
'cause money's no big deal.
Maybe he should dye his hair bright {green/pink}
and stick a safety pin through his cheeks.
Then he'd really fit the new wave image,
but he couldn't sit down for weeks!
Don't you know about the record business, honey?
You gotta be trendy if you wanna make some money!
Everybody's sayin' that he sure sounds funny,
but it's still Billy Joel to me!
(accordion solo...)
(If you listen closely here, you can hear someone yell "All right
Alfie!")
I can hardly wait for his next album,
well I bet it's gonna be the rage.
Buy a ticket to his next concert,
well I wonder what he'll do on stage.
It might be disco and it might be the blues,
or maybe even something like the B-52's.
But the hand-clap, baker's-snap, even if it's mindless rap
It's still Billy Joel to me
Everybody's sayin' that he sure sounds funny,
but it's still Billy Joel to me.
Everywhere, I see them there, I stop and stare at patterns. I don't care, I must declare, I got a flair for patterns. On my hair, the clothes I wear, my savoir faire is patterns. All I see are patterns, the patterns that repeat! Let's go into the bathroom... I know were in a room where you would not expect much math, Usually you're in here for a shower or a bath, But if you gaze upon the floor and if you're kind of smart, You'll see the repetition is like geometric art! Wow! Haha! Look! Everywhere, I see them there, I stop and stare at patterns. I don't care, I must declare, I got a flair for patterns. On my hair, the clothes I wear, my savoir faire is patterns. All I see are patterns, the patterns that repeat! Hey! A polka-meister like myself never has to be bored, I just grab my act and play some patterns on my keyboard. Now's the time for earplugs if you care about your health, So stand back everybody, I'm going to express myself! Look at that! Patterns! I've got blisters on my fingers! Woo! Hey! Oh get down! Yeah! Help me somebody! Still there? Okay. Next time you find yourself at an exciting polka party, You can make some patterns with your feet and with your body, If you don't know the steps yet, here's the gang with all the answers, Ladies and Gentlemen, introducting the `Weird Al' Polka Dancers! There they are. Everywhere, we see them there, we stop and stare at patterns. We don't care, we must declare, we've got a flair for patterns. On our hair, the clothes we wear, our savoir faire is patterns. All we see are patterns, the patterns that repeat! Wallpaper, skyscrapers, funny papers, patterns! Evergreens, nouvelle cuisine, human beings, patterns! Garden rakes, wedding cakes, rattlesnakes, patterns! Golden wheat, little feet, my heartbeat... I gotta stop... Patterns! Patterns! Patterns! Patterns!
da din din da da din din da na tin tin na da din din da dit dit da terrigada dit na giggiteeta cut teeta guddygayna da terrigada dit na giggiteeta cut teeta guddygayna da terrigada dit na giggiteeta cut teeta guddygayna da din din da da din din da na tin tin na da din din da cutta cutta cutta cutta cuttyta nogayna noggy teeta cuddadit naw nay daw cuttyta nogayna noggy teeta cuddadit naw nay daw cuttyta nogayna noggy teeta cuddadit naw nay da da cuddagudda dit naw cuh-ta da cuddagudda dit naw cuh-ta da cuddagudda dit naw cuh-ta da da cuddagudda dit naw cuh-ta da
[Tax Man/The Beatles] (one, two, thray, four, one, two [nasal hocking sound]) I used to be a pinball freak That's where you'd find me every week But now it's Pacman! Ye-ea-ah it's the Pac-ma-an! I love to gobble up those dots Keep pumpin' quarters in the slots They call it "Pacman"! Ye-ea-ah it's the Pac-ma-an! At the game arcade they say I'm "hard core" I can play all day 'til my hands are sore And I quit my job just to play some more But I won't give up 'til I break high score Pacman! [music from Pacman "intermission"] Well it's the Pacman! Ye-ea-ah it's the Pac-ma-an! Well it takes a lot of cash to play (Pacman! Get the cherry!) So I'm gonna sell my house today (Pacman! Eat 'em up!) I'm playin' Pacman! Ye-ea-ah it's the Pac-ma-an! Hey mom, I won't be home this year (Pacma-an!) Please forward all my mail right here! (Pacma-an!) I'm at the Pacman! Ye-ea-ah it's the Pac-ma-an! ...and you're playing with no one but me Pacman! [music from Pacman "intermission"] [sound from when Pacman dies]
A man of intrigue he lives for the thrill Always has places to go and people to kill Danger is the game he plays and he holds every card Cause if you wanna win you gotta spy hard A man of the world so suave and discreet He trips over women piled up at his feet But evil's lurking so he's always on his guard Cause if your gonna spy you better spy hard He's always there when the chips are beginning to fall He wouldn't care if they kicked him and grabbed him and shot him and stabbed him and nailed both his ears to the wall Facing death everyday is a tough job for any man But his hours are flexible and he's got a great dental plan By the way if you walked in late allow me to reiterate The name of this movie is Spy Hard They call it Spy Hard
[Free as a Bird/Beatles/1995] Gee, I'm a nerd Seen each Star Trek 80 times Memorized each word Home alone On Friday nights But I got 8 gigabytes Left on my hard drive I hope that I can get/I'm hooked as I can get/I hope Bernard can get Into the Internet Maybe you would like to see my web page I love my new PC It means the world o me So many things to download Gee, I'm a nerd All the jocks and muscle-heads Flip me the bird Cause I'm a nerd Gee, I'm a nerd